Day 2: Death Toe, med students and some serenading…

Last night and this morning established a few things;

  • Private rooms are infinitely better than shared ward rooms
  • Doubling tramadol last night made shite all difference – I feel a little bit cheated – I didn’t even get high off it
  • Getting a jam bun with a paper tub full of meth for beakfast is funny
  • Med students can sniff out Death Toe from all over the hospital

I think because of all the aforementioned reasons (namely me being awake, articulate-ish and aware-ish), I seem to be prime med student feeding ground in an other wise elderly, confused and mostly completely out of it offering. Death Toe also has the bonus attraction of being quite unusual and pretty gross. Spent a good while today going over the history of Death Toe and what its like having something painful and rare at my age with a load of fifth years, getting some really self-indulgent venting snuck in 😉

….aaaaaaaaaand I just stubbed my toe off the table and it is really really shitting sore >.< Just had to do my ‘leap up and start pacing routine’, hand over mouth and breathing deeply so I don’t puke and thinking some truly awful swear words for about ten mins until it settled a bit. I think the only phrase that slipped out was ‘twatting twat mongerers’ – a classic swear word obviously 😉 Begged a ginger tea to settle my stomach as that kind of sudden wack makes me feel horrifically queasy – its like a massive adrenaline kick and if I don’t pace around biting my hand and keep moving, I get some kind of adrenaline shakes and go really light headed and pukey!

Its very weird how many different kinds of pain it seems to do. There’s the hyper pressure sensitive twitching it does at night, the sudden electric shock feeling that is usually what wakes me up, the cold exposure white fire burning and then the holy-shit-I-just-made-unintentional-contact-with-the-table/desk/fridge/sock on the floor/edge of the light fluffy blanket etc. depending on how much of a delicate little flower it is deciding to be.

Blehhh. M just made me howl with laughter with the following fabulous exchange. Everything she says is wonderful 😅

Nurse: “Ehhh you’ve passed that sign missus!”

M to me: “Dont listen to them. They’re all crackers. Guess what – see this line?”

Nurse: “Yes M?”

M: “You don’t go beyond this line, because its the mens ward.”

Nurse: “Yes M, well done. Well done.”

M: “SO WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THERE THEN?”

Nurses (and I all howling): “We’re nurses M, we’re supposed to be in here!!”

M: “Oh well, I was thinking you made pretty poor strippers…” *descends into singing Ave Maria*

End Scene.

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