‘Death Toe in the witching hours’ and ‘Not actually prepared to discuss today’s Dr discussion so lets all agree to leave it there for five minutes’… Day 29 and the start of week 5 :O

I’m not sure why my face looks that pointy, but it amuses me and I am NOT fading away, although I have horrendous eye bags so that bit is fairly representative!! Just to clarify, the hat remains amazing and I slept in it. Not that I slept very much… For some reason, whilst there were nurses in the room already checking on someone else last night at about… 2.30 am, I decided to have a fight and kicked the bottom of the bed super duper freakin hard USING DEATH TOE AS A WEAPON!

Not my smartest idea… I woke up very confused with shooting Death Toe pain and a few nurses crowded round the bed asking what was wrong as I had apparently wacked my buzzer and they said it had sounded like I was fighting someone and then I had said my foot might be turning blue 😀 It has started happening before when the circulation just takes a holiday, so clearly thats the first thing my brain suggested, so they all started flicking the lights on and checking my toe, all the whilst I am confused as feck and slowly coming out of a nightmare/sleep situation with people all over me and Death Toe… Within a minute one of them squirted a syringe of oramorph at me which I do recall dribbling a lot of down my face… We all agreed that no, my foot was not dangerously discoloured, although my toes looked rather fabulously purple, and they let me settle and try and smooth the pain away delicately.

The problem being the oramorph… I got enough to make me quite seriously floaty and because I was in a LOT of unusually acute pain – think stubbing toe x a gazillion – I remained awake then until about 5.30am >.< Now obviously normally I would try to go back to sleep, but pain makes this difficult, so instead I had a few little bits of chats online to other awake people, including my baby bros from the previous post. One of them has a birthday soon and he will be overseas, quite far away. Normally the last few years I send each of them a Tesco delivery with some steak and fry up things for an indulgent birthday dinner/breakfast – and maybe a few tinnies! So when little broo was saying he was organising a massive party overseas, I decided to start sorting out quotes for sending steak overseas to him, as the medication issue was making me think maybe I shouldn’t try and go in person 😀

I have quite clear memories of one part of my brain screaming ‘what the hell are you doing you absolute moron?’ and the other part thinking it was entirely appropriate to fill in several refrigerated international delivery forms requesting quotes. One has show itself to be for a cubic metre of fresh meat – and I got a response haha 😀

I feel bad that I am finding this so hilarious when someone’s time has been wasted, but I was trying to distract myself from a lot of sore toe thing and I was exhausted, so hopefully no one is hating me too much 😀

To clarify little broo, I am not paying several hundred quid to ship you some chilled steaks for your birthday party 😉 Love youuuuuuuuu!

At the point of typing the above my Dr had not yet come to hunt me down and kill me for being mean and assertive in my letter – and surprise surprise she didn’t. Someone else did come to talk to me and I brought up the letter, and I thought it was a productive chat and went very well… and now actually I think I might never want to see a Dr ever again.

Instead, lets have a wonderful bitch about a new person on the ward… Some noisy, nosey, heavy mouth breathing, bored, open mouthed pringle eater hovering over me for the past 30 mins whilst I’ve been typing, asking me continuous questions and its like she has never seen anyone use a laptop before AND I am not her chuck AND IT WAS MY FUCKING PRINGLES – I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH IN ONE DAY!!! Oh and she is now telling me all about her bladder and how much she will be up during the night as she has had a hot chocolate and I don’t actually give a shiny shit sweetheart…

Knowing my luck she will catch on fire in the middle of the night to make me feel bad. But at least then I can pee on her >.<

This is what happens when you put cheerful, sunny little cupcakes into a hospital for four weeks and make them feel like ignorant drain scum. Oooo and yes, lets need a new cannula before bed, fan-flippin-tastic!! 😀

EDIT:

Turns out she a) wasn’t joking about being up at night to pee and b) she is a sleepwalking psycho. I just got woken up very abruptly by crashing, staggering noises rushing towards my ‘room’, flailing all round my curtain walls trying to find a way in… Then she crashed into the sweet little lady next door’s bed/table/everything and sent it all flying… By this point I have wacked my buzzer thinking someone is dying (four weeks on ward 7 teaches you that response). Then she shoves into my room pants round ankles, to which I – already half out of bed with disco stick – say something pithy like “What the hell is going on – are you ok?!!”….

“I’m struggling to find the toilet…” NO SHIT.

I directed her in disbelief out of the door into the very very brightly lit corridor she had failed to find and turned off the buzzer so no one panicked… Pulled the curtains very firmly and then heard her staggering back down, arguing with a nurse as she had just tried to go into someone ELSE’S room on the way back… “THIS is your room, you share it with three others – thats your bed, there in the corner” – SADLY, YEAH.

EDIT A LITTLE BIT MORE…

I already want to adopt the old lady next to me and now want the lady opposite me as well. She is so incredibly polite to the nurses – she was one herself I gather! – and asks the same questions about where everyone did their nursing training etc. repeatedly. I am collecting elderly women 😮

The lovely on-call cannula man got me second attempt, small needle, big vein, flushes like a dream…. and I finished knitting Weenie. What a peach of a day haha!

2 thoughts on “‘Death Toe in the witching hours’ and ‘Not actually prepared to discuss today’s Dr discussion so lets all agree to leave it there for five minutes’… Day 29 and the start of week 5 :O

  1. Another fantastic insight into your daily trials Kath!!OMG what you do have to put up with!!! Am delighted to note, that despite all your pain, trials and tribulations –you still have your tremendous sense of humour!!!! You are a tonic to us all—following your blog!!! Keep up the good work , and we’ll hear later from you–what the doctor said!! Have just prepared a huge amount of goulash with onions and carrots and placed in the slow cooker—that will do us for Wed. and Thurs. Tonight we’ll have fish in butter sauce with mix veg and new potatoes!! It’s a pleasure to “CHAT” with you!!

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    • I’m glad I amuse you 😄 There isn’t a lot else to do in here so its been a good way to keep my brain alive. The food sounds amazing – just had a really tasty giant meatball – one of my fave NHS dishes 😉 Have a lovely afternoon x

      Like

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